what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
