dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Randomize
