Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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