I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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