what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
