So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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