I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
