I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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