the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
