like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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