FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's never too late to be topless.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
