I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
