I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
