In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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