oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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