one two three fourrrrnication!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
