just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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