I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize