You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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