please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize