why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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