they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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