this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is Oprah even human
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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