hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
