Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
