You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
