she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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