The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
