am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
barbara walters just said penis...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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