I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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