I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
