Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
A bitchslap is in order.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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