Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize