Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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