I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
