i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize