I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
