she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
