Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Floor bacon is actually really good
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
