I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize