Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
