Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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