I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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