you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
