remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
