Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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