What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
