kristin has been a bad kristin
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize