just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
