it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
