Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
