Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
