Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize