Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I party with great urgency now.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
