I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
