i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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