woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
