There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
