Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
