Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
