it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize