I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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