I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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