It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
