yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
