Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
