I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
