The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
